So, it's been a while since I've posted. Why? I've been thinking about my life and what I want to be, what I want to do, things like that. I don't know what I want. At all. I know that I want to be happy, experience the shitty jobs of being a waitress or hostess or whatnot. These things help build you for the future. Like my dad says, the best way to get by in life is knowing how to react and behave around other people. I fail bigtime at this. I'm trying to change, but this clearly didn't happen at the past few days at work.
Anyhow, I am broken, meaning it is that time of the month so that was relieving. But the worst part is, the anger. It comes a few days before it, during it, and a few days after it. I'm basically angry half the year. So it's just lovely, really. I talked back to my boss at work which I shouldn't have but, I did. I believe it's the end of my run at Lalique. For the moment, at least. I've been accepted as an intern at a boutique PR firm. They represent Balenciaga and Proenza-Schouler amongst other designers. I walked in and saw all the shoes and went to heaven. These two men were the most serious gay men I have ever met. Kind of intimidating, but I found my center and had a great interview. I get to look at beautiful shoes and beautiful designers all day. Maybe this will motivate me to get back to exercising and quit smoking. Who knows. But I think they all smoke anyway... Hmm.
Looking forward to meeting Ryan from the Chamber Group although I haven't heard back from him yet. My friend interned for them and I may be able to intern for them in the fall. They're also a PR company for music artists of the hip hop sort. My favorite.
Anyhow as my life progresses, I find that if you don't have experience in New York City, no one wants you. BLT fish flat out rejected me as they haven't called back in 2 weeks when they said they'd contact me in a week. Womp. Gemma said they would call me today, but I haven't heard anything. I'll wait til Wednesday then go back for another shot. No shame right? Anyhow these experiences make me believe that I will never work in the restaurant industry. I guess this is a good thing? But, I kinda want to be a bartender. Things I want versus what things come to me. Always ends up as retail. Fuck. It sucks.
I must think about Paris everyday. I heard my sister wanted to come home after 3/4 weeks in Spain. I wanted to go back after 3/4 weeks back in the states. It kills me to know that I have friends there, that I've built many of my friendships that I have now, there. I love that Paris will always be beautiful. I wish I could go back every time I think about it. What do you do with this kind of feeling? This is what I want, where I want to be. I just have to find a way to get there. My old boss, Suzie, is now in London. I'm jealous, she's found her way across the pond with her loving husband. I want to be her. I just need to find a European to marry. Ha. We'll see.
This is just a big BLAH as to a post. I can write about anything right now it's been a few weeks since I've updated. My electric bill is almost the price of my cable bill I don't know why I need to fix things everytime the damn bill comes. I hates bills. I hate not getting paid because then I can't pay my bills. Death to Conedison and TimeWarner. Ew. Monopoly bitches. I want to enjoy a vacation. I haven't really had one for a long time. I guess Spring break...more like Winter break counts. But it was still stressful traveling with a lot of people. I want to go somewhere by myself. But, I guess that's not safe. I also don't have the money for it. Oh well. What to do. A few weeks to dick around before I have to get serious for my last year in school.
I hope it's fun.
