I lied. Not exactly joyous rapture and nothing close to it. This is a blog where I aspire to joyous rapture and set goals for myself to have it.
I haven't posted in quite some time well I lied again. Almost a week. It's been quite fun filled with tests, stress, and sickness. Last week during the Ryan Leslie event I got to hang out with the PR and Press-ies of the entertainment world. It seems joyous and attending events such as album presentations, very cool. Some people showed up aka little Cheetah girl, Tyson Beckford, and the best of the now, Kid Cudi. It was fun getting to see them because I didn't know what they looked like in person. I suck at identifying people. Me: "What's your name? Are you on the list?" Them: Um... Boss: "Let them in, Jess." Oh. Oops. I would be good at being a bouncer.
I did what I say terrible on my midterm in film. WTF. I studied like mad and I got a less than average grade. This kills me. Why don't I know how to study? Show me how to do something and I'll remember it forever, but tell me something, I'll forget in ten minutes. It's ridiculous. I hate how my brain works sometimes. Academia is truly not for me. Stats is raping me, film which shouldn't be difficult now requires extra time and effort on projects and final, politics I haven't even researched a topic on my final 20 page paper. Fack. My life is in shambles. It's only Tuesday. I'm stressing.
I shouldn't be writing because I have stats hw to do so I am merely procrastinating. As always. So, I'll talk about the weekend events. Friday was our, finally, Paris reunion. It wasn't as fun-filled as it could possibly be because of certain dramatic events that shouldn't have even occurred but whatever. They happened. Now I have to apologize again because people don't know how I am. Again. I hate having to apologize when I know I haven't done anything wrong. The only way to make things right is if I always apologize. I hate the word "sorry". No one ever seems to truly mean it. I wish I could believe it as easily as other people because it's thrown around so much now. Like, fuck, and cunt. Although if you use it loudly enough it probably means something. Yeah. Nothing is bad or nice anymore. Everything is just the norm.
I went for a walk from 4th st NYU up to 60th and Columbus Circle. It was quite the trek. I did it in 45 minutes. I'm proud of myself. It was a nice walk to stop being drunk from the night before and once again realize that uptown Manhattan is crowded with tourists on the weekend. Lovely.
Nothing in my life is ever interesting anymore. I'm on such a scheduled routine I can't even have time for myself to read or watch a movie. Life sucks right now. Hopefully this hard work pays off in the future or I'll end up shooting myself.
Happier note: French toast again for breakfast/lunch...brunch with Kat. She went to Peter Luger's. I'm jealous. I crave steak.
Another note: Florence tickets are 330 round trip. Where my money. Oh wait, I need a job. Damn it. I do need a job and an internship for next semester and a job in May. Oh lord. It's too fast. I can't breathe or sleep anymore. That means death right? Damn.
Showing posts with label Chamber Group. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chamber Group. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
November Presents
This month is showering me with gifts of midterms and papers. I adore these things. Lie.
However, I am feeling much better not having to deal with that bug situation anymore. My roommate is great and her pets are great. I'm doing fairly well in school, or so I lead myself to believe, and am a working machine. I run on 2-3 hours a sleep a day and I am exhausted. Winter break looks like a nice month long hibernation for me. Bring on the turkey!
I've been thinking about my future and what I want. NYU clearly doesn't care for those who graduate early because simply, they don't keep track therefore, I am not updated on the on goings of the upcoming graduates of this year. I wasn't informed through NYU about a resume book. I am getting absolutely no job offers unlike my friends who are supposed to be graduating because they're in the resume books. Fail. I have to search out companies and intern for them, then beg for them to take me. Desperation ensues. I met with Universal music company during the FIT expo, which I worked at for The Chamber Group and met a few potential employment opportunities. Most of them were in fashion PR as it was, the Fashion Institute of Technology. I found Universal's booth seated right behind us and I chatted to either Melissa or Melanie (I wish I remembered her name) she recommended that I give her my resume because she thinks I'll do well, plus they have an ongoing business relationship with The Chamber Group. I also found out that even though I call in sick/have meetings/lawyer problems/landlord problems and sometimes miss work, I'm still a top intern. I'm good at what I do. Chyeah. So, I continue talking to her and she asks me about Ryan Leslie's event tomorrow. She represents Ryan Leslie. I planned the event. I get to talk to her tomorrow and give her my resume. I also get to meet Ryan Leslie and tons of music business contacts. It's going to be all business tomorrow. No doubt about it.
My life seems to be on the ups but it's only because I'm working so friggin hard. I don't envy those who don't work this hard to get what they want because then all they know is life is easy. Life isn't easy. You learn. Unfortunately, some people will have to learn later. I am related to one of these people. One is doing significantly better from previous years and the other one is heading down the drain. Unfortunately she, yes, that one, thinks 'whoring herself out'-for the lack of a better term although somewhat relative, will get her somewhere in life. Glass ceiling, bitch. Can't go that far. I wish she would spend more time on academics than she does on her personal image and life. She feels like a disappointment to our family. I see it in my dad. He never gets angry at anyone continuously. I only hear about his disappointment in her. He can't take it anymore. Neither can I. This year will reveal what happens to her future. Poor pops. I don't even know anymore. My life needs to start so he can stop working. She needs to stop living like there's no tomorrow, because there always will be a tomorrow whether you wake up alive or dead.
So, you know that quote "Live each day as if it your last." I'm sure you do. It's bullshit. Of course everyone wants to live each day to the fullest, enjoy life. Free spirits. That'd be nice if our world wasn't so full of responsibility. I grew up in a household that believed education led to a better life, a better life would lead to a better self, and that better self would then be the result of fully living. Feeling whole is living each day. How do you wake up and throw the entire day away being selfish about what you want to do for yourself while not thinking about the consequences for the others around. Life is good. Cherish it. Yes, but it's much better when you enjoy it with the people around you. I find that dumb quote so goddamn selfish. Selfishness isn't a bad thing. It's okay to be selfish sometimes. Note, sometimes. Not all the damn time. Do what's best for you yes, but don't go around thinking you're above everyone else. That's not and will never be true. No one is better than anyone else. Recognize.
So I started happy and ended bitter. Oh well. I just wanted to get some thoughts out. I just see the same thing happening again and again and I watch people grow more immature versus becoming more mature. What is going on with the world? I don't approve.
Oh, one more thing. People need 'me' time. When that time comes, go to a cafe, get some food, bring a book, get a coffee, sit for 2 hours. That's some awesome me time. I highly recommend it, especially at Mud Coffee. Had french toast today. Refer to Kat's blog for a picture. Kat is my food guru. If anyone is ever looking for a hotspot to eat/drink/vacation. She is your go to person. No doubt.
To end, I would like to say that today I will get 7 hours of sleep. I am so freakin' delighted. Good night. Peace and cheese.
However, I am feeling much better not having to deal with that bug situation anymore. My roommate is great and her pets are great. I'm doing fairly well in school, or so I lead myself to believe, and am a working machine. I run on 2-3 hours a sleep a day and I am exhausted. Winter break looks like a nice month long hibernation for me. Bring on the turkey!
I've been thinking about my future and what I want. NYU clearly doesn't care for those who graduate early because simply, they don't keep track therefore, I am not updated on the on goings of the upcoming graduates of this year. I wasn't informed through NYU about a resume book. I am getting absolutely no job offers unlike my friends who are supposed to be graduating because they're in the resume books. Fail. I have to search out companies and intern for them, then beg for them to take me. Desperation ensues. I met with Universal music company during the FIT expo, which I worked at for The Chamber Group and met a few potential employment opportunities. Most of them were in fashion PR as it was, the Fashion Institute of Technology. I found Universal's booth seated right behind us and I chatted to either Melissa or Melanie (I wish I remembered her name) she recommended that I give her my resume because she thinks I'll do well, plus they have an ongoing business relationship with The Chamber Group. I also found out that even though I call in sick/have meetings/lawyer problems/landlord problems and sometimes miss work, I'm still a top intern. I'm good at what I do. Chyeah. So, I continue talking to her and she asks me about Ryan Leslie's event tomorrow. She represents Ryan Leslie. I planned the event. I get to talk to her tomorrow and give her my resume. I also get to meet Ryan Leslie and tons of music business contacts. It's going to be all business tomorrow. No doubt about it.
My life seems to be on the ups but it's only because I'm working so friggin hard. I don't envy those who don't work this hard to get what they want because then all they know is life is easy. Life isn't easy. You learn. Unfortunately, some people will have to learn later. I am related to one of these people. One is doing significantly better from previous years and the other one is heading down the drain. Unfortunately she, yes, that one, thinks 'whoring herself out'-for the lack of a better term although somewhat relative, will get her somewhere in life. Glass ceiling, bitch. Can't go that far. I wish she would spend more time on academics than she does on her personal image and life. She feels like a disappointment to our family. I see it in my dad. He never gets angry at anyone continuously. I only hear about his disappointment in her. He can't take it anymore. Neither can I. This year will reveal what happens to her future. Poor pops. I don't even know anymore. My life needs to start so he can stop working. She needs to stop living like there's no tomorrow, because there always will be a tomorrow whether you wake up alive or dead.
So, you know that quote "Live each day as if it your last." I'm sure you do. It's bullshit. Of course everyone wants to live each day to the fullest, enjoy life. Free spirits. That'd be nice if our world wasn't so full of responsibility. I grew up in a household that believed education led to a better life, a better life would lead to a better self, and that better self would then be the result of fully living. Feeling whole is living each day. How do you wake up and throw the entire day away being selfish about what you want to do for yourself while not thinking about the consequences for the others around. Life is good. Cherish it. Yes, but it's much better when you enjoy it with the people around you. I find that dumb quote so goddamn selfish. Selfishness isn't a bad thing. It's okay to be selfish sometimes. Note, sometimes. Not all the damn time. Do what's best for you yes, but don't go around thinking you're above everyone else. That's not and will never be true. No one is better than anyone else. Recognize.
So I started happy and ended bitter. Oh well. I just wanted to get some thoughts out. I just see the same thing happening again and again and I watch people grow more immature versus becoming more mature. What is going on with the world? I don't approve.
Oh, one more thing. People need 'me' time. When that time comes, go to a cafe, get some food, bring a book, get a coffee, sit for 2 hours. That's some awesome me time. I highly recommend it, especially at Mud Coffee. Had french toast today. Refer to Kat's blog for a picture. Kat is my food guru. If anyone is ever looking for a hotspot to eat/drink/vacation. She is your go to person. No doubt.
To end, I would like to say that today I will get 7 hours of sleep. I am so freakin' delighted. Good night. Peace and cheese.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
it's about that time.
So, it's been a while since I've posted. Why? I've been thinking about my life and what I want to be, what I want to do, things like that. I don't know what I want. At all. I know that I want to be happy, experience the shitty jobs of being a waitress or hostess or whatnot. These things help build you for the future. Like my dad says, the best way to get by in life is knowing how to react and behave around other people. I fail bigtime at this. I'm trying to change, but this clearly didn't happen at the past few days at work.
Anyhow, I am broken, meaning it is that time of the month so that was relieving. But the worst part is, the anger. It comes a few days before it, during it, and a few days after it. I'm basically angry half the year. So it's just lovely, really. I talked back to my boss at work which I shouldn't have but, I did. I believe it's the end of my run at Lalique. For the moment, at least. I've been accepted as an intern at a boutique PR firm. They represent Balenciaga and Proenza-Schouler amongst other designers. I walked in and saw all the shoes and went to heaven. These two men were the most serious gay men I have ever met. Kind of intimidating, but I found my center and had a great interview. I get to look at beautiful shoes and beautiful designers all day. Maybe this will motivate me to get back to exercising and quit smoking. Who knows. But I think they all smoke anyway... Hmm.
Looking forward to meeting Ryan from the Chamber Group although I haven't heard back from him yet. My friend interned for them and I may be able to intern for them in the fall. They're also a PR company for music artists of the hip hop sort. My favorite.
Anyhow as my life progresses, I find that if you don't have experience in New York City, no one wants you. BLT fish flat out rejected me as they haven't called back in 2 weeks when they said they'd contact me in a week. Womp. Gemma said they would call me today, but I haven't heard anything. I'll wait til Wednesday then go back for another shot. No shame right? Anyhow these experiences make me believe that I will never work in the restaurant industry. I guess this is a good thing? But, I kinda want to be a bartender. Things I want versus what things come to me. Always ends up as retail. Fuck. It sucks.
I must think about Paris everyday. I heard my sister wanted to come home after 3/4 weeks in Spain. I wanted to go back after 3/4 weeks back in the states. It kills me to know that I have friends there, that I've built many of my friendships that I have now, there. I love that Paris will always be beautiful. I wish I could go back every time I think about it. What do you do with this kind of feeling? This is what I want, where I want to be. I just have to find a way to get there. My old boss, Suzie, is now in London. I'm jealous, she's found her way across the pond with her loving husband. I want to be her. I just need to find a European to marry. Ha. We'll see.
This is just a big BLAH as to a post. I can write about anything right now it's been a few weeks since I've updated. My electric bill is almost the price of my cable bill I don't know why I need to fix things everytime the damn bill comes. I hates bills. I hate not getting paid because then I can't pay my bills. Death to Conedison and TimeWarner. Ew. Monopoly bitches. I want to enjoy a vacation. I haven't really had one for a long time. I guess Spring break...more like Winter break counts. But it was still stressful traveling with a lot of people. I want to go somewhere by myself. But, I guess that's not safe. I also don't have the money for it. Oh well. What to do. A few weeks to dick around before I have to get serious for my last year in school.
I hope it's fun.
Anyhow, I am broken, meaning it is that time of the month so that was relieving. But the worst part is, the anger. It comes a few days before it, during it, and a few days after it. I'm basically angry half the year. So it's just lovely, really. I talked back to my boss at work which I shouldn't have but, I did. I believe it's the end of my run at Lalique. For the moment, at least. I've been accepted as an intern at a boutique PR firm. They represent Balenciaga and Proenza-Schouler amongst other designers. I walked in and saw all the shoes and went to heaven. These two men were the most serious gay men I have ever met. Kind of intimidating, but I found my center and had a great interview. I get to look at beautiful shoes and beautiful designers all day. Maybe this will motivate me to get back to exercising and quit smoking. Who knows. But I think they all smoke anyway... Hmm.
Looking forward to meeting Ryan from the Chamber Group although I haven't heard back from him yet. My friend interned for them and I may be able to intern for them in the fall. They're also a PR company for music artists of the hip hop sort. My favorite.
Anyhow as my life progresses, I find that if you don't have experience in New York City, no one wants you. BLT fish flat out rejected me as they haven't called back in 2 weeks when they said they'd contact me in a week. Womp. Gemma said they would call me today, but I haven't heard anything. I'll wait til Wednesday then go back for another shot. No shame right? Anyhow these experiences make me believe that I will never work in the restaurant industry. I guess this is a good thing? But, I kinda want to be a bartender. Things I want versus what things come to me. Always ends up as retail. Fuck. It sucks.
I must think about Paris everyday. I heard my sister wanted to come home after 3/4 weeks in Spain. I wanted to go back after 3/4 weeks back in the states. It kills me to know that I have friends there, that I've built many of my friendships that I have now, there. I love that Paris will always be beautiful. I wish I could go back every time I think about it. What do you do with this kind of feeling? This is what I want, where I want to be. I just have to find a way to get there. My old boss, Suzie, is now in London. I'm jealous, she's found her way across the pond with her loving husband. I want to be her. I just need to find a European to marry. Ha. We'll see.
This is just a big BLAH as to a post. I can write about anything right now it's been a few weeks since I've updated. My electric bill is almost the price of my cable bill I don't know why I need to fix things everytime the damn bill comes. I hates bills. I hate not getting paid because then I can't pay my bills. Death to Conedison and TimeWarner. Ew. Monopoly bitches. I want to enjoy a vacation. I haven't really had one for a long time. I guess Spring break...more like Winter break counts. But it was still stressful traveling with a lot of people. I want to go somewhere by myself. But, I guess that's not safe. I also don't have the money for it. Oh well. What to do. A few weeks to dick around before I have to get serious for my last year in school.
I hope it's fun.
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