November Presents

This month is showering me with gifts of midterms and papers. I adore these things. Lie.

However, I am feeling much better not having to deal with that bug situation anymore. My roommate is great and her pets are great. I'm doing fairly well in school, or so I lead myself to believe, and am a working machine. I run on 2-3 hours a sleep a day and I am exhausted. Winter break looks like a nice month long hibernation for me. Bring on the turkey!

I've been thinking about my future and what I want. NYU clearly doesn't care for those who graduate early because simply, they don't keep track therefore, I am not updated on the on goings of the upcoming graduates of this year. I wasn't informed through NYU about a resume book. I am getting absolutely no job offers unlike my friends who are supposed to be graduating because they're in the resume books. Fail. I have to search out companies and intern for them, then beg for them to take me. Desperation ensues. I met with Universal music company during the FIT expo, which I worked at for The Chamber Group and met a few potential employment opportunities. Most of them were in fashion PR as it was, the Fashion Institute of Technology. I found Universal's booth seated right behind us and I chatted to either Melissa or Melanie (I wish I remembered her name) she recommended that I give her my resume because she thinks I'll do well, plus they have an ongoing business relationship with The Chamber Group. I also found out that even though I call in sick/have meetings/lawyer problems/landlord problems and sometimes miss work, I'm still a top intern. I'm good at what I do. Chyeah. So, I continue talking to her and she asks me about Ryan Leslie's event tomorrow. She represents Ryan Leslie. I planned the event. I get to talk to her tomorrow and give her my resume. I also get to meet Ryan Leslie and tons of music business contacts. It's going to be all business tomorrow. No doubt about it.

My life seems to be on the ups but it's only because I'm working so friggin hard. I don't envy those who don't work this hard to get what they want because then all they know is life is easy. Life isn't easy. You learn. Unfortunately, some people will have to learn later. I am related to one of these people. One is doing significantly better from previous years and the other one is heading down the drain. Unfortunately she, yes, that one, thinks 'whoring herself out'-for the lack of a better term although somewhat relative, will get her somewhere in life. Glass ceiling, bitch. Can't go that far. I wish she would spend more time on academics than she does on her personal image and life. She feels like a disappointment to our family. I see it in my dad. He never gets angry at anyone continuously. I only hear about his disappointment in her. He can't take it anymore. Neither can I. This year will reveal what happens to her future. Poor pops. I don't even know anymore. My life needs to start so he can stop working. She needs to stop living like there's no tomorrow, because there always will be a tomorrow whether you wake up alive or dead.

So, you know that quote "Live each day as if it your last." I'm sure you do. It's bullshit. Of course everyone wants to live each day to the fullest, enjoy life. Free spirits. That'd be nice if our world wasn't so full of responsibility. I grew up in a household that believed education led to a better life, a better life would lead to a better self, and that better self would then be the result of fully living. Feeling whole is living each day. How do you wake up and throw the entire day away being selfish about what you want to do for yourself while not thinking about the consequences for the others around. Life is good. Cherish it. Yes, but it's much better when you enjoy it with the people around you. I find that dumb quote so goddamn selfish. Selfishness isn't a bad thing. It's okay to be selfish sometimes. Note, sometimes. Not all the damn time. Do what's best for you yes, but don't go around thinking you're above everyone else. That's not and will never be true. No one is better than anyone else. Recognize.

So I started happy and ended bitter. Oh well. I just wanted to get some thoughts out. I just see the same thing happening again and again and I watch people grow more immature versus becoming more mature. What is going on with the world? I don't approve.

Oh, one more thing. People need 'me' time. When that time comes, go to a cafe, get some food, bring a book, get a coffee, sit for 2 hours. That's some awesome me time. I highly recommend it, especially at Mud Coffee. Had french toast today. Refer to Kat's blog for a picture. Kat is my food guru. If anyone is ever looking for a hotspot to eat/drink/vacation. She is your go to person. No doubt.

To end, I would like to say that today I will get 7 hours of sleep. I am so freakin' delighted. Good night. Peace and cheese.