Clear Pavements

You ever notice when its raining how glossy and reflective the tar on the ground gets? You can see up when looking down. It rained it Paris today. I really liked it even though it was cold and wet, two things I do not like. Don't know why. Just in the mood for a rainy day.

It's Katherine's birthday. Yay! Mine is coming soon, hitting the 20s. Wow. It may seem young to a lot of people, but for a 19 year old, there are no longer 1's in front of the last number. Beginning of adulthood.

Anyhow last week was uneventful, lots of paper writing. Finished them, but not satisfied with either. Really, this study abroad thing has done terrible things to my writing skills. Went to Canal St. Martin and a little square by it last week with Katherine. Gorgeous. I love Paris. Can I tell you? Have I told you?

That's it. Why is Paris so amazing to me? She wants me to succeed. Know why Paris is a she? Because she has a bad week of the month. Every month.

Last weekend was World's Fair, can't say anything about it because I didn't go. Womp. Was writing my paper. Nothing eventful as far as going out last weekend, but Sunday we went to Auvers-sur-Oise and Giverny for a museum class trip. I really didn't want to go. But, it was really beautiful. Went to see where Van Gogh died, places he painted and his grave. Then we went to Monet's gardens and house, saw some places where he painted his pictures, and also his grave.

So, the pictures won't load. So no pictures for today. Success! Today it works.
Monet's gardens. Gorgeous as usual.

Probably my favorite picture of the trip. I have about 150 pictures. I think two will suffice. Ha.

This week is starting off pretty well. No class tomorrow. Score. Boy? Questionable. Katherine's birthday outing. Done. Excited, a little. Oh, and most importantly grocery shopping.

Trying to make a documentary. Hopelessly failing.

Girls Night.

So, it's been a while since I've posted. Nothing new. Just fun, really.

Learned that I cannot take annoying people at all when hot [like sweating, hot], stressed, or just really, in general. Also learned that I am a complete and utter bitch. As well as the fact that I like to blind myself from the truth, a lot in my life.

Anyhow, good news. This weekend was overall a success. Saturday hung out with Hoolie and Iwan and Manuel. Good night. I think I have to call him Friday. Sunday had an another amazing excursion of food with Hoolie at Tricotin in Chinatown. Did some food shopping. Success! Monday, had hookah with Liv and Faustyna [finally]. It was a great night. A hookah, and 3 pots of mint tea for 10 euros? Fabulous. Tuesday, went to Moose for Mike's last night although it was pretty boring. Womp. Got to chat with my ladies and met Liv's friend. I've already forgotten his name. Oh well. Today is Wednesday. Met Faustyna for lunch at 12. Had Gyros at the Invalides park. Took the bus to Hotel de Ville. Failed at vintage shopping. Ran into Charlie, realized how much of an asshole he is. Got ice cream. Succeeded in mainstream shopping then went home. Found that I am going to die this weekend because of the Giverny trip. Didn't get any work done. Got a call from Kat. Going to dinner with the ladies! Tex-Mex for dinner in the Bastille, Amorino gelato for dessert, jammage and chillage at mi casa or rather, mon appartement. So great. Love the ladies because they know my kind of music and understand my obsession. Never had this kind of connection before. Through music and appreciation of black people, I mean.

I don't mean to force music on people, I understand and accept your stylings, but doesn't mean I have to like it. All I ask is that you try to feel the emotion in the songs I'm asking you to hear. Soul music. Even gospel music. Even though it's about God, I'm not exactly a firm believer in religion, but the music draws me in. Really. Listen and feel it. I don't know. Something about their passion makes me want to sing.

Now it's 1am. Haven't finished my German paper, haven't started my 10pg museum research paper, haven't written my 3pg film review for Ilha das Floras, haven't read for our in class test, haven't written my hw for French. Epic fail.

Success in life, fail in school. I guess there's a balance for everything. But I feel there's more fail than success. My life sucks sometimes.

Successes.

So, it's been a few good weeks. I can't lie. I know this will leave me as soon as I return to New York, but I'm enjoying life as it is.

Today, I went on campus, found out that I can, in fact, not go to Disney [although I didn't really wanna go in the first place] and hung out with my girl Hoolie. We got some Thai food, a macaron for dessert and shopped around. I bought a baller white blazer and some hot boots that I've always wanted. I think I'm in this phase where I love shopping. I need to stop. It's bad. But...I'm not going to yet.. =) Went to film some guy at this doll shop for Hoolie's project. It was kinda scary and he wasn't very cooperative. Oh well. Success in filming. Although it's not my project, I was pretty happy for her. Went to meet up with Bree to talk. Finally sorted things out and I'm pretty happy about that. We shopped around, walked around, got gelato, THEN dinner, then chilled at the open space in front of Hotel de Ville. Gelato is life. Although I wish I got some after dinner. For dinner, we went to this Moroccan place on Rue Victoria. It was really good. Huge portion for 15 euros. Totally could not finish so I wasted food. Boo me. But now I know where to go for some Moroccan. Walked behind this Australian couple, they were pretty funny and nice. Didn't know much French, but we taught them some dirty words. It was an entertaining 10 minutes. It's midnight now and I was supposed to have written a paper by now, but I don't mind. It was a successful day and I'm happy about it.

Tomorrow I plan on starting my museum papers, go to the park, and rage all night, then pass out at Hoolies. It's going to be a great time. I think. I hope. Right now, I don't ever think I want to leave Paris. Fuck.

Printemps à Paris

Alors, il fait beau aujourd'hui. C'est soleillé et j'ai pas de choses à faire. Puits...je fait des choses, mais je veux pas les faire. Plus tard, j'irai faire du shopping avec Katherine et Gabby [girl from class.] Je peux pas attendre!

I think I should talk to some people more. New life, new ways. Should be writing a paper. Going to do it now, I think.

So, update. Came back from shopping. Went to the Marais with Kat, Gabby, and Janelle. The pros, Janelle and Kat, brought us to the vintage shops to find some nice junk. Unfortunately, I failed in finding anything that I absolutely liked, or found things that were unfortunately, not my size. Therefore, fail. But, after went to a few shoe shops to buy some flats. Success! Kat got hit on in the Marais because apparently, in Paris, wearing shorts without tights means you's a ho. So, fail on her part.

On the other hand, weather was amazing today. About 70 degrees. The sunset was beautiful--one of the reasons as to why lower building work in a city. Took a bus home. Watched some videos. Didn't do any homework. No motivation. Great. Failblog.

Saint Malo by Day, Paris by Night

New adventure. Yay! Less money, booooo. Anyhow, took an Easter trip to Saint Malo this weekend [Brittany, for those who don't know] with Kat, Sofia, Zivile, and Rose. Left at 630am arrived around 1030. Not bad. Took a nice walk down some random road, everything was still closed. Okay. Checked in with Kat, waited for the other girls. Check. Then went to breakfast.
Galette and Coffee. Mmmm. Also had a dark chocolate/banana crepe. BEST crepe I've ever had. Ever. Ever. Ever. I'm so craving it right now. After brunch, decided to walk off the 1000 calories we ate during brunch, so we went for a walk. Stumbled across a beautiful little alcove/way to the beach and decided to film my video project there. Kat and I stopped while the girls went on. Filming this weekend was great. I expect best location prize if there ever is one. Got a little lost, ended up hiking, which was AMAZING, saw this kind of view, but better...and then went to the old city. It began to pour so we jumped in a cafe and had teatime. I'm so getting into this cafe culture. Still raining, we decided to walk on top of the walls around the fort [old city], but it began raining harder. Ran into another restaurant and had mussels. It was amazing. My entire weekend revolved around food. It's probably the best way to plan a weekend. We decided to go home and get some work done, but Zivile, Sofia, and Rose had nothing to do so they watched a movie. We chilled. It was exciting. Next day headed to Mont Saint Michel, an hour and a half outside of St Malo.Gorgeous, huh? Really touristy, glad we didn't stay there. But we filmed here too. Corridors and bright green. Amazing. Started to rain here, too. I thought the tide would come in and we wouldn't be able to get out. See, this place here, has only one way in and one way out. This road gets covered during high tide and whoever is on this little piece of land, can't escape until the tide goes down. Crazy huh? There's also only 72 people who actually live in this city. Gossip city. But, overall. Pretty amazing.

Headed back to Saint Malo, went to the beach because it got so beautiful and went rock climbing. For free! Well, we went on the rocks and decided to climb to the other side of the beach. Pretty badass.Got hungry. This hike/adventure was about an hour/hour and a half or so. We were also lugging our bags and camera equipment. Went to this little place called "Les Chiens de Guet" [The dogs of Guet] and had the best meal of our trip there. Steak with potatoes, kir breton, and crème brulée for a mere 23 euros. So. Good. We decided to go to the casino after, but without our passports we were rejected. Fail. Wanted to win some money to spend on more food. Oh well. Took a walk home. Did some more work. Sleep.

Last day. Woke up. Got ready. Got caught by the building manager for sleeping 5 girls in a 4 person room. Had to lug all our baggage and film equipment around for the day. Didn't find the flea market that was supposed to be open. Rejected by 2 creperies because our baggage took up too much space during lunch hour. Only success was filming. Yes. Had another teatime. Had another crepe. Another galette. Left for Paris. Trainride was crowded. Everyone was coming back from their Easter vacation. Got some work done. I have roughly 48 seconds for my video. Out of 3:50. Fuck. Had dinner with Katherine. Found that the place we wanted to go was closin, and the place we ate at was extremely touristy and expensive. Fail. Tried to find gelato after dinner. Got to the place, they were closed. Fail. Katherine got myberry [Pinkberry] and got yelled at a queen for not having a euro because he didn't have one to give back to her. Fail. Found a gelateria after getting myberry. Fail. Decided to walk around and found great bars that we later figured out were for gay men. Fail. Overall, a fail day. S'all good though. I hope to have a better day tomorrow. Great weekend. Happy Easter.

A Typical Thursday

Well, I guess it's not so typical. My alarm clock refused to wake me up, once again. Fail. Missed 50 minutes of French. Fail. Slipped and fell in the shower. Fail. My landlord proceeded to enter just as I was about to walk out of the bathroom after showering. Fail. Paid 950 euros worth of rent. Fail. Overall, bad morning.

After French, Kat and I went to SNCF [a travel agency, I guess you can call it], picked up a carte 12-25, picked up my tickets for Saint Malo, and proceeded to Grenelle. Talked to Mathieu, the head of the film department [I think?] explained a situation, he let us take the camera out over Easter weekend. Success! Went to Amex. Wrote my Ethnography review for "Control Room," had a sandwich, headed to museum class. The museum was Musée de Quai Branly. Pretty cool. Modern and just really lacked any kind of French appeal. Made me feel like I was in the states again. Saw some traditional garb and figurines/statues, and left early. EXTREMELY early. Some people in my class show no interest in museums, but I do. I didn't want to jump on the bandwagon, but this chick was pushing me, so I left. Ugh. Never give in peer pressure. One rule in life. Had a coffee, had some cigarettes, headed to class.

In Ethnography, we watched some films, the first being Ihla de las Floras, I believe. Chaotic. I loved it. Second film was made by some guy...who was a guest speaker at our class.. don't know his name, nor the name of the film. Great film though. Moving. I was into it. Wanted to chat with him, he seemed awkward and my professor was with him, so I passed. I'm gonna regret this. It's okay. Anyhow, ran to Amex to find Sofia once again hyperventilating about something unimportant and Bree ignoring. Took the subway home. Took off my jacket today! It's beautiful outside. I never want to leave Paris if this weather keeps up.

Going to meet a girl I knew back in high school. Have to wake up at 5am tomorrow. I hope my alarm goes off this time. Pictures and Updates. As always.

Lost in Paris

So this week has thus far, been pretty good. Had two adventures this week. Both of which I shared with Katharine. She likes to explore. I like that. Monday we went to dinner in the Marais at a little bistro called Chez Janou. Really good steak and codfish with potatoes and what not. I'm a fan. Wasn't too expensive for what it was too. Food makes me happy. We went in search of ice cream because it was about 70 degrees and we thought it'd be nice to go... find ice cream. Always enough room for sweets right? So in search of ice cream, we found cute little streets and other bistros that I am so willing to go eat at right nowww. Found an ice cream shop, passed a famous falafel house, and found a vintage store. Didn't have time to really browse, but I plan to go back. Lots of cool shit. Ended the night not doing any work. Ha. Fail.

Tuesday was boring. Have to reshoot my film. Figured that out Wednesday. A lot of stress. Fail. Anyhow, today, Wednesday, was a great day. Not great that I missed class and might fail french, but great in the sense that I got to live out the day for what it was. Although it was rainy, I went with Katharine to film her music video. She sang for me and danced with Anna [her actress] and it was entertaining. I played assistant director I guess, and bag watcher. I don't mind. It was fun. Got to go back to Anna's place which is right next to the Luxembourg gardens. I want to go back for a picnic! It's so beautiful. Her place is beautiful as well. HUGE. Expensive. But really nice. Finished filming, went downstairs to an Italian spot and got some food to bring back to make at her place. AMAZING. I got full so quickly. We had a pot full of pasta left. Fail. But now Anna has food to last her a week. Yay. Anyhow, we just chilled and talked, and filmed. I wish I could film with them tomorrow, but I have to actually go to class. Yes. Womp. I want to have more days like this. I also need to take more pictures of my spontaneous adventures. Note to self: always have my camera on me.

Tomorrow is Thursday. Duh. Going to get drinks with an old friend, I guess you could say. Musée de Branly for museum class, going to a Café for French class and have no clue what we're doing in Ethnography. Going to Saint Malo and Mont Saint Michel this weekend. Excited.

Where is it going?

So, this weekend entailed some filming, a birthday party, and going to the same bar. 3 days in a row. Merde de vie. It's not fun when people start thinking you're an alcoholic, or when you think of yourself as an alcoholic. Womp.

So, Friday I met up with Julia for lunch. Went with her to get her eyebrows did in the 9th I think, and then went home to do work. Fail. Didn't get any work done. Waited to go out that night. Ended up going to a bar with Sofia and her boy, playing third wheel. Fail. Stayed til late I think. Don't remember much. Fail.

Saturday was a bit better. Woke up to the sun shining, although it was like 12:30ish. Oops. Met up with Sofia and Julia. Did filming. Found a store near my apartment with 5-10 euro shoes. Yay! Went to Jardin des Plants for an hour to film. Really nice day. Wanted to stay, but couldn't. Had Mcdonalds for the first time in a long ass time, and went home to do work which ended up as a fail. I never get any work done. After, got a call from Tamer, seeing if I was going to Yann's birthday party. I thought about it, said yes and asked him to call me when he left. We were extremely late. Got to the party around 10. Best time of my life. Met lots of new french people, mind you, this was a gay man's birthday party and most of them ranged from 25-40. I felt a little intimidated, but after a few drinks, everything went smooooth. I enjoyed my time. Got the hookup for an internship, j'espere. Met lots of gay men and practiced my french. It was all in all, a great time. However, I texted a friend, hoping to invite him to the party. Said he was working late, so I decided to join him at the bar. My friends were there too, of course, but I don't know. Something prompted me to go. Got there, saw people for like 10 minutes, they peaced and I was left with Sofia. Ran into Maeve. Sofia wanted to go home so she did. Maeve was drunk as the day was gone and I tried to take care of her. We left, but she wanted to go back to talk to another bartender. Fail. I tried to talk to the bartender for her to no avail. He's not interested, I sounded like a dumbass. Worst part of my night. Told him I had to go so she had to get walked home, but didn't leave. Ha. I wonder if I was making sense. Sat back down to have another beer and a shot of whisky. Must've been my 12th drink. Trying to stay sober, again, fail. Don't remember what I said to said bartender and a friend, Phillipe. Merde de vie. Left as they were locking the door, felt embarrased. Walked to Saint-Michel, got hit on by 3 men who tried to kiss me. Punch. Run. Got on the metro. Home at 730.

Sunday, woke up around noon. Bad hangover, tried to do work. Didn't get any done. Monday morning. Leaving in 10 minutes for class, accomplished nothing this weekend. Fail.

Old Friends, New Friends.

Yesterday was an interesting day. Entire day was normal, going to class and all. My french teacher was insanely ill, yet carried out class. Fuck. Wish she would just cancel a class. Womp. So day was normal, went to the Cité Nationale de l’Histoire de l'Immigration. I thought it was nice despite everyone else's disagreement. Oh well. It was modern fused with classical roman architecture. I don't know. I dig it. Saw the permanent exhibit, thought it was alright, then found out there was an aquarium underneath. What?! I felt like I was 5 years old again. However, we didn't get the chance to go because the group ticket didn't allow us to go in the aquarium. Womp. I plan on going back just to see it.

Anyways, after, I went with my friend Sara to get some coffee, then to class. Now, she's been telling me about her love affair with this man. There's been a situation, extremely surprising, although I can not say, and she's worried. Thing is, she won't stop talking about it. Why won't she stop talking about it? I think it's just something in women that allow them to overly analyze every single action the opposite sex does. I find this somewhat annoying and pathetic. However, I understand these kinds of girls. I'm not one to judge since I've never had a relationship where it got to the point of that. So maybe I'm inexperienced. Who knows. Oh well. Point is, her story made me think of relationships, whether it would be romantic or friendly. There's always some kind of love in relationship right? False. Even in close relationships, say family or 'best friends,' there's only you, and no one else. Everyone is selfish in their own way. No one is absolutely selfless. Who puts you above everyone else? Even if they'd die for you, they're considering their own life before doing it. Always about themselves. Just have to accept it. Don't get too close. You'll only get hurt.

Anyway, had Media Ethnography in a different room. Got lost trying to find it. Ended up in the Mac lab in the basement of Grenelle. Had a final cut pro tutorial from the film head, Mathieu. He's a baller. Taught us basics, stuff I already knew, so I surfed the net. [I learned it in another film class. I wasn't being rude.] Then, second block we watched Control Room. A documentary of America's "War on Terror" through the perspective of the Al Jazeera Media and Press. It was really interesting. Probably one of the best documentaries I've watched. Made me kind of hate my own nationality. Oops. You should watch it. Makes Americans seem ignorant and stupid. But for a good reason.

Then, went home dropped my books and stuff off and headed to The Moose to reunite with a high school friend I haven't seen in about 3 years. Except once, briefly in NYC while she was shopping with her sister. Briefly. So, she got lost, I went to find her and said hello, blahblahblah all that jazz. We grabbed a drink, talking nonstop about what's been going on, what we do in school, how we've grown. Wow. I can't believe it's been so long. I thought she would've known by now what my major was and the things I've been doing. [She's been keeping up with my sister.] But no. Wow. Made me realize I don't know what's going on in ANYONE's life. I'm so out of the loop. Even with my 'close group of friends' at NYU, I don't speak to them at all. No one takes the time to talk to me. Great. Fuck them. Yeah, people have their own lives, but relationships can't be one-sided. I always push, never get anything back. Done. [I had a lot of epiphanies that night]. Made it seem that really, I should be selfish. No one will care for me as much as I care for them. I'll keep my friends close, but never too close. I always share my life with everyone, stranger or best friend, so what do I have to worry about. I don't care if they know my life. They won't bother to even take enough in to remember, so what's the point?

Pause. Wow. Really pessimistic outlook of life.

Thing is, Paris has helped me. I've known these things before but, now I really know. Live for myself, be by myself. People might think otherwise. Well, prove me wrong. Yes, you and your friends probably love hanging out and you call them everyday. Think about the one girl or the one boy in your group of friends that you just seem to ignore. She or he will call you every so often, but you'll never take the time to go find them. Think about that lone person. Did you ever care enough to pay attention? Hmm? Do you think you pay enough attention? I'm not preaching. Really. It may seem like it. It may seem like I'm yelling through my words. I'm not. It's how I write. Everything seems angry. But, I have the right to be. Fuck it. I'll be the lone person. I don't expect anything from anything. They just disappoint me most of the time anyway.