Like most women when they read "Eat, Pray, Love" (or at least I'm assuming), I feel the ultimate need to become more worldly and less focused on the "decays and depressions" of the physical life. I want to evolve and alleviate my thoughts into some ethereal place where my thoughts of being peaceful and devoid of any harm can carry me through my life in the most zen-like manner.
I've been evaluating the things that have crossed my path in the past few months. Although there were good times, I seem to focus only on my failures - always brooding on why my life cannot be one hundred percent of the time completely free of temptation and pain. But ah, thus is life. Right? I need to find a way to accept this pain, that I so willingly feed on, and turn it into some kind of good chakra to carry me to my ultimate goal of transcendence. BE MORE WORLDLY YOU DUMB GIRL, BE MORE UNDERSTANDING.
Is this something I'm just saying because I'm reading this book? Yes, that is quite possible. But somewhere deep down inside is some part of me trying to create this ultimate life balance.
Is this happening because those astrologists told me I'm no longer a Gemini anymore? Because I still feel like two crazy people inside. Forever and always a Gemini.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Rethink the Possibilities.
How does one embrace everything they have?
I am a very lucky person but I absolutely do not know how to appreciate what I have. I always want more. Is this ambition or greed?
How do I be ambitious without being too greedy?
I am a very lucky person but I absolutely do not know how to appreciate what I have. I always want more. Is this ambition or greed?
How do I be ambitious without being too greedy?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
IT WORKED.
I guess complaining worked to some extent because I have a job and an apartment now. This is awesome. Maybe if I complain about other things, it will work the same way? I lie. This was after maybe more than a handful of practice/real interviews. It paid off. I started Monday, so far, lost and confused. But, I'm sure I'll pick it up. Or I hope so!
My friend and I found an apartment in an up and coming area in Brooklyn. It's on a nice street and well, the apartment isn't bad at all. I don't know how if our application will go through, but we'll see soon enough.
Just wanted to update because my last one was just whiny. Awesome.
My friend and I found an apartment in an up and coming area in Brooklyn. It's on a nice street and well, the apartment isn't bad at all. I don't know how if our application will go through, but we'll see soon enough.
Just wanted to update because my last one was just whiny. Awesome.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Move on out.
Can someone please help me find a job so I can start my career and get out of this place?
I swear, the longer I stay, the worse it gets. That's why people do not live at home, especially in a place where the house is definitely, not a home. Instead it's an infested place that's perfect for breeding passive aggressive nonsensical anger. My siblings are both the same, both are present hedonistic people who do not like to think about their future. They think now is forever, but if you're going to grow up, you need to think about the future. The only way to move forward if to plan for the future. Yes, we all want to "be children" forever. Or do we? Is it because we have no responsibilities? Because we mooch off our parents? Because we don't have to move forward with out lives? Are people not just the least bit curious of what they could be? What they can work toward? How do you think Steve Jobs became who he was? How did new technologies evolve? Why are we so aware of social responsibility and environmentally friendly companies? Passion drives us to our futures, to ensuring our future lives will be better. If we all focus on the now, there will be no tomorrow.
Don't throw that "I could die any second" bull to me, because I know life is short. We can make the most of our lives now even if we think toward the future. It's called being spontaneous, that's what playing hooky is for. I'm not asking for them to plan each day of their lives, I'm asking them to set a goal and be responsible about it. My parents won't be alive forever, but they don't care. They think they'll live well forever. You know, at my brother's age I was thinking about where I was going to go to school, how I should study for my SATs, what do I like doing, who do I want to be when I grow up? My brother focuses on getting a girlfriend, porn, and his "friends." His friends who use my family's money to throw themselves parties and wreck our basement. Friends who think drinking and driving are cool. Friends that ignore him when he has problems to discuss. Yes, those friends. He, well not he entirely, my sister as well are going to drive this family into the dark hole of bankruptcy - of morality and wealth.
I need a job to be able to support myself when all of this happens. In about 2 years. So I need a job now to save up and run away.
I swear, the longer I stay, the worse it gets. That's why people do not live at home, especially in a place where the house is definitely, not a home. Instead it's an infested place that's perfect for breeding passive aggressive nonsensical anger. My siblings are both the same, both are present hedonistic people who do not like to think about their future. They think now is forever, but if you're going to grow up, you need to think about the future. The only way to move forward if to plan for the future. Yes, we all want to "be children" forever. Or do we? Is it because we have no responsibilities? Because we mooch off our parents? Because we don't have to move forward with out lives? Are people not just the least bit curious of what they could be? What they can work toward? How do you think Steve Jobs became who he was? How did new technologies evolve? Why are we so aware of social responsibility and environmentally friendly companies? Passion drives us to our futures, to ensuring our future lives will be better. If we all focus on the now, there will be no tomorrow.
Don't throw that "I could die any second" bull to me, because I know life is short. We can make the most of our lives now even if we think toward the future. It's called being spontaneous, that's what playing hooky is for. I'm not asking for them to plan each day of their lives, I'm asking them to set a goal and be responsible about it. My parents won't be alive forever, but they don't care. They think they'll live well forever. You know, at my brother's age I was thinking about where I was going to go to school, how I should study for my SATs, what do I like doing, who do I want to be when I grow up? My brother focuses on getting a girlfriend, porn, and his "friends." His friends who use my family's money to throw themselves parties and wreck our basement. Friends who think drinking and driving are cool. Friends that ignore him when he has problems to discuss. Yes, those friends. He, well not he entirely, my sister as well are going to drive this family into the dark hole of bankruptcy - of morality and wealth.
I need a job to be able to support myself when all of this happens. In about 2 years. So I need a job now to save up and run away.
Racism.
I was watching this video and it brought up the issue of racism for models in the fashion world. (This is focusing mainly on American racism.)
I like how there are so many various issues when it comes to racism and it usually resorts back to how there is tension between black and white. But, if you watch the video there's also a mention of the same discrimination for asian women and worse for latina women. Given, not all of us have the potential to be models because our races are known to be shorter, but there are always a token few that want to and are tall enough to be in the fashion industry. What I'm wondering is, people who bring up racism are the ones who question theirs and others races or ethnicity. I know that we are all a little racist - if you say you aren't, you lie - but why is it that it's always black people who are singled out? From what I observe, the politically correct term is no longer African American because except for a few people, most of the black generation is born and raised in the U.S. Yes, although black people, even asian people have ancestry in other countries, if you are not a first generation or second generation child, then you are completely American. I say this because first generation children may carry some cultural values of their parents while adapting to the American culture, and second generation children only get a fraction of what their parents picked up from their parents and are basically fully immersed in the American culture.
Yes, black people have endured slavery and racism, but don't asians and latinas suffer the same racist attitudes as well? Latinas are more hidden and it seems that most are either still with green cards or first generation. Asian people however are less hidden but speak up less against others because of our nature (again, first generation children). Asians and Latino/latinas are now stereotyped as blue collar workers that are experiencing the same work and treatment black people used to endure? The only difference is, they get paid a very small wage. Fair or not?
Do you think it's okay for people to say "ni hao" or "ching chang chong" where ever we go? Do you think it's funny? Because I for one, don't think so. It's not just white people that are extremely racist, black, asian, latina, blue, purple, red people are all racist but not everyone speaks out against it. Most asian people have to suffer from stereotypes and racism but we rarely say anything because we choose not to arouse conflict, but if we do, there's a huge debacle about how we're racist (especially with black or latino/latinas). Sorry it's difficult for us to fit in, sorry it's difficult for you to fit in, but we're all in America, trying to make it through the day, there is no reason for anyone to think that only one race is singled out or that faces more discrimination than another. It's America, it's a white country. Unless you're rich or gorgeous and white, it's going to be difficult. I just don't think it's okay for this video to show that it's usually black people that face harsh criticism when all races face the same discrimination. The girl never talks about that, only that because she's black, people are racist against her. Only the woman that works at the magazine informs us that it's a variety of races and ethnic people that face the same discrimination, even though she's only in the film for a minute or two.
I like how there are so many various issues when it comes to racism and it usually resorts back to how there is tension between black and white. But, if you watch the video there's also a mention of the same discrimination for asian women and worse for latina women. Given, not all of us have the potential to be models because our races are known to be shorter, but there are always a token few that want to and are tall enough to be in the fashion industry. What I'm wondering is, people who bring up racism are the ones who question theirs and others races or ethnicity. I know that we are all a little racist - if you say you aren't, you lie - but why is it that it's always black people who are singled out? From what I observe, the politically correct term is no longer African American because except for a few people, most of the black generation is born and raised in the U.S. Yes, although black people, even asian people have ancestry in other countries, if you are not a first generation or second generation child, then you are completely American. I say this because first generation children may carry some cultural values of their parents while adapting to the American culture, and second generation children only get a fraction of what their parents picked up from their parents and are basically fully immersed in the American culture.
Yes, black people have endured slavery and racism, but don't asians and latinas suffer the same racist attitudes as well? Latinas are more hidden and it seems that most are either still with green cards or first generation. Asian people however are less hidden but speak up less against others because of our nature (again, first generation children). Asians and Latino/latinas are now stereotyped as blue collar workers that are experiencing the same work and treatment black people used to endure? The only difference is, they get paid a very small wage. Fair or not?
Do you think it's okay for people to say "ni hao" or "ching chang chong" where ever we go? Do you think it's funny? Because I for one, don't think so. It's not just white people that are extremely racist, black, asian, latina, blue, purple, red people are all racist but not everyone speaks out against it. Most asian people have to suffer from stereotypes and racism but we rarely say anything because we choose not to arouse conflict, but if we do, there's a huge debacle about how we're racist (especially with black or latino/latinas). Sorry it's difficult for us to fit in, sorry it's difficult for you to fit in, but we're all in America, trying to make it through the day, there is no reason for anyone to think that only one race is singled out or that faces more discrimination than another. It's America, it's a white country. Unless you're rich or gorgeous and white, it's going to be difficult. I just don't think it's okay for this video to show that it's usually black people that face harsh criticism when all races face the same discrimination. The girl never talks about that, only that because she's black, people are racist against her. Only the woman that works at the magazine informs us that it's a variety of races and ethnic people that face the same discrimination, even though she's only in the film for a minute or two.
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