Inspiration.

Melissa & Ade - This dance was just so moving. It was featured on Ellen's show and I just had to see the original. The original is what got her to like it in the first place, right? Anyway, it was choreographed by Tyce Diorio and featured on Ellen's show for breast cancer awareness month. Just so moving. I can't get over it. This choreographer feels. I don't even like SYTYCD, but these dancers just won me over.

Beginning

by James Wright

The moon drops one or two feathers into the field.

The dark wheat listens.

Be still.

Now.

There they are, the moons young, trying

Their wings.

Between trees, a slender woman lifts up the lovely shadow

Of her face, and now she steps into the air, now she is gone

Wholly, into the air.

I stand alone by an elder tree, I do not dare breathe

Or move.

I listen.

The wheat leans back toward its own darkness,

And I lean toward mine.

This was just so inspirational and calming. Do you ever have those moments where that one little thing you find or that one little thing you see completely changes your entire day? It's 9PM. These things happened just now.

Today was quite painful. It was one of those mornings. Ya'know. Stumbled to class, fell in my seat and almost fell over sleeping this morning. No bene. The following class on genetics was equally painful. How about this, being tired and not having time to get coffee in between classes equals a bad day all around. I couldn't even muster enough energy to say something in a class that is basically based on class participation. Great. It's okay. It's the end of the school week.

I got home today greeted by the exterminator, Harry. He's a nice man. He told me I need to buy stuff on top of services and the actual extermination to exterminate my apartment. This is frustrating me. I'm keeping these receipts and getting my goddamn landlords to pay for this. This bedbug origin is the apartment at the bottom of my stairs. Great. They crawled up those damn stairs into my apartment. The girl who lives above this guy. Oh, man. I feel bad for her. She's been here for 15 years, she hates the management, but her apartment is rent stabilized. Lucky and unlucky woman. She told me the city stopped spraying DTT on the street which kept the bugs out, but they stopped right? Here they come. The management company doesn't want to make this a big deal. Too bad assholes. I have 48 bugbites. They should've told me about this problem when I moved in, which they didn't. Shit going down mofuckas. This conversation with them lasted about an hour and it was a nice time to vent and share hatred upon this management company. I'm getting a lawyer. I want a new place without bedbugs and my money back. The other women in my building agree. I'm done with it.

So you see why I needed that calming. Yes. I'm going to watch the video and read the poem again. I want to be calm. Calm, calm, calm. This is difficult.