So, it was my friend's birthday today. She turned 20. Thing is, I was a bitch to her all day. Why? Because I hate birthdays. Maybe it's because I wish my birthday was always better. My parents consistently happened to 'forget' my birthday for about 10 years [since the age of 5] and in recent years, either completely forgot my birthday, thought my birthday was on the wrong day, or bought themselves presents without realizing it was in fact, my birthday. Is this selfish? Am I selfish for taking my pent-up anger on my friends? Say yes. Then give me advice. What do I do? Or am I okay for thinking this way? Are birthday's overrated? Went to the Mazet for her birthday. Beer still doesn't taste good. I'm still in love with all bartenders. French men are/will forever be, creepers. Migraines and motion sickness suck.
On a lighter note, I visited the Musée de la Musique today in the 19ieme with my French class. I was late and my teacher continues to passive aggressively hate me. Fail. Said best friend also continues to be flaky. Okay. But, the museum was a blast. I miss orchestra [dork] and classical music. I don't know why. Spanish guitar still gets me everytime. I need a man who will seduce and serenade me with Spanish guitar. Oh, if only. There was also drumming in WATER. The water was THE DRUM. It was baller. I want to learn/be a part of that culture. Pretty sure you can see it on Youtube. Everything's on Youtube. I miss music. Being a part of music. Now I know, music is an important part of my life. Oh joy.
I'm having a creative block. I need to make 2 scripts and 2 videos a shot list and a documentary. All in a month. Alongside that, theres a 5 page German Cinema paper and a 10 page research paper on an idea I have about the personal home as a museum. Si senor. Difficile. Look at me, ma! 3 languages!
I'm thinking about writing everyday until I leave. This will help me remember my stay in detail. I think. It's 2am. What the fuck is wrong with me?
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